a day in the life, aka parenting in two parts

Can you guess the age of the perpetrator?^ (Left on the kitchen table for 2 days; I actually thought there were still brownies within.)




Only Daughter, as the only remaining-at-home child of a perpetually-distracted parent in her late 40s has developed some bad habits regarding snacking. To be specific, junk food junk food junk food. The daily salt intake could preserve an entire ham. She tried to take salami (no bread) and goldfish (the cracker) in her lunch one day; the day after I had discovered that between when she got home on the bus (4:10 p.m.) and dinner (7:30 p.m.) she had eaten salami, a large cereal bowl full of pistachios, a same-size bowl of tortilla chips and salsa and a same-size bowl of goldfish (the cracker). Yesterday Husband came out to get her dinner while I was at a rehearsal to discover that she was in the process of eating chips and salsa for the THIRD TIME that day.

This morning we had the first of a two-part conversation regarding healthful eating and what’s going to happen to her favorite food choices if she doesn’t start demonstrating some ability to make reasonable decisions.* This includes my approval of what she eats for breakfast, what she puts in her lunch, and permission for any snacks. Like when she was four. (She’s 12 going on 25. As if.)

The second part will include a list of foods that she can eat as much of as she’d like (spinach, carrots, whole wheat toast with peanut butter)(rightthat’llhappen) and foods that need to be approached a bit more judiciously (everything that she eats when given the chance).

Here is my contribution towards judiciousness, waiting to greet her when she arrives home from school today (during which time I will be teaching a piano lesson):


^The perpetrator is 19. He tried to tell me the other day, when I was questioning his decision not to work over spring break, that he was “20” and that I should trust him to make his own decisions. This was two days before he told me that his housing payment had been due a few days earlier, that he needed me to pay it since he was out of savings. It was also the day that he washed his popcorn pan while leaving the rest of the dishes in the sink and was doing all of his laundry in our washing machine using our soap.

You know, some species eat their young. (I hear they taste like chicken.)

*Second Son also tried to convince me the other day that his bad eating habits are my fault. Since I raised him feeding him mostly healthful foods, he has developed a taste for white bread, cereal of the Cap’n Crunch persuasion, and Kraft macaroni and cheese. If I had raised him on junk, he would now be a vegan. He actually told me this, and I believe that he actually believes it.

3 Responses to “a day in the life, aka parenting in two parts”

  1. March 7, 2013 at 5:38 pm

    Reblogged this on Natural_Beauty and commented:
    Only daughter sounds just like my only daughter. The other day she told me she has never been full in her entire life and regularly tries to take sandwich meat and rainbow goldfish for lunch! Happy Reading!

  2. March 7, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    Its like only daughters are the same everywhere. Mine is 13. Sandwich meat and goldfish crackers are something she always feels make a well rounded lunch or a bag of chips washed down by fruit punch. I love ur sign might have to try that some time!

  3. March 10, 2013 at 12:30 am

    They do! (Taste like chicken… but with a faint tang of MSG these days). Bury the bones deep though…

    I remember a pen-pal (early days of internet) from Tacoma WA sending us a box of KD because we’d never heard of it, when we lived in the UK. It was referred to in a Barenaked Ladies song (If I had $1,000,000), and we were intrigued. We cooked it up per the instructions, and it was a lurid orange/yellow colour. I took one mouthful and nearly chucked my guts up! How kids can enjoy that muck is beyond me! We threw it on the lawn for the birds to eat. They didn’t. I wonder what it’s half-life is. It might still be there…

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