aren’t we glad we know better now?

A friend of mine with a unique sense of humor sent me a link of old advertising clips for my amusement.

I laughed a little, but mostly felt a kind of sick horror, like how one feels when passing a car that’s upside down in the median, wheels still spinning, or on the shoulder surrounded by fire trucks and ambulii and stretchers.

They seem to fall into a few very distinct categories.

Aren’t We Glad We Know Better

So what if the alcohol consumption interferes with their ability to learn to read later, or to form emotional attachments; at least we can count on those pesky little critters to sleep through the night!

It’s hard to know for sure, since when I zoom in it gets quite blurry, but I believe the claims include that it will help you get your homework done properly, AND strengthen family ties. What’s not to like?

Of course we don’t really know if the ingredients help cure your toothache, but you’re so flippin’ high, who cares?

What We Didn’t Realize We Wanted


Chubbies? CHUBBIES?????

Yeah, because my primary concern when I’m suffering from the myriad adverse physical affects of PMS is whether I’m GOOD TO BE AROUND.

Sorry; I’m so offended I have absolutely nothing to say. Those of you who know me well will probably be flummoxed by this, but I’m flummoxed by that.

And then we have the best-represented category of all:

Women’s primary objective is to appear to be sexually appealing to you (men) while performing her housewifely duties

(ugh; I’m feeling a little queasy)

The answer to your question, honey, is that you’re actually a lazy whimp, and I am enervated by the smell of dust and burning bacon.

Seriously? Is anyone believing this crap? She WON’T be happier with a Hoover, she’d be happier with a man who could get off his fat lazy ass and pick up some of the potato chip crumbs he’s managed to scatter around himself while watching Monday Night Football. How did man survive the 1950s? If I’d have been there, there would have been some serious trouble.

(Gag.) O, but look how happy they both are; this must be true.

First of all, could this BE more patronizing? Cry a little? Just a little? What are we, five?

And secondly, um, no.

Try these instead:

And then there’s this one. Inexplicable.

Praise be we all know so much better now.


3 Responses to “aren’t we glad we know better now?”

  1. April 13, 2011 at 3:03 am

    The sad thing is people will be looking at the advertisements of our time and laughing at them, thinking how unenlightened we were. Although, come to think of it, with the backsliding women’s issues are taking, maybe we’re ahead of what’s to come in 50 years. I hope not.

  2. April 13, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    The Dolce Cabana ad coming after the Sketchers is frightening. And to think I actually own a pair of Sketchers. Innocently purchased on the basis of shoe quality. Had I seen the ad, I’d never have given them a glance.

  3. April 14, 2011 at 12:27 am

    And too think these came from what we thought was a civilized society! The Dolce and Gabbana people should really be ashamed of themselves. That add is absolutely crazy.

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