Weight and Happiness

I wish I weighed 20 lbs. less.

Me and how many women out there?

And this despite the following facts:

I can only weigh 20 lbs less if I either eat only vegetables and lean meats for 6 months or more, or am undergoing either a stressful divorce (is there any other kind?) or brain surgery (I know this for a fact, I will not go into further details).

I eat quite healthfully and am not an unusual size; according to some charts, I am actually “below average” for my height and age.

But I look in the mirror and see fat.

This distresses me, especially since I have an absolutely beautiful and incredibly fit 9-year-old daughter who thinks her calves are fat. She’s 50″ tall and weighs 50 lbs. She’s anything but fat. I’m not even sure she has any fat on her. I don’t want to even think about this for fear that she will be aware of it, and look at herself in the mirror and not see what’s there but some horrible and culture-driven distortion.

So, I want to lose weight, and want to have the buccal fat in my cheeks removed, and wish my forehead wasn’t so lumpy, and remember. . .

I remember being 20, and looking at mildly-overweight middle-aged women and thinking that I would never “let” that “happen” to me.

As if. As if we have a choice. Age happens. What are we supposed to do about it exactly?

I’m mildly overweight, and middle-aged. Hmmm. . .

I guess I could quit one or two of my myriad part-time-and-necessary-for-the-sustainability-of-my-family jobs and adopt a regular, rigorous exercise program. I guess I could eat only vegetables and lean meats, but that would eliminate bacon, and wine, and chocolate, and what’s the point of living, really, if you can’t have bacon, and wine, and chocolate?

And meanwhile, we encounter images such as this:

And this

And try to measure up. Or is that measure down?

Hmmmm. . .

What to do.

Any suggestions?

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